Keeping “Kept” Worth It!

Ha Ha!  It seems that I have hacked into Alison’s blog zone.  After reading her last post, with much enjoyment I must add, I got to thinking….Hmmm.  Keeping “Kept” is important for any woman not just for their significant other but also for themselves… (Got it Ali!)…but guys this also pertains to YOU!!!!  So in order to give Ali’s “ever witty” tongue a little break, I am going to preach a little lesson on the art of male beauty (oxymoron?  I don’t know…but I’m sure a few of my “PR” friends will let me know).

So we hear it all the time.  “Men age so much better than women.”, “Wrinkles are sexy on men.”, ” When a man grays he looks distinguished.”  Blah blah blah blah… freakin BLAH!  While all this may be true we can still agree that most of the male populus can use a little help.  If he thinks he doesn’t need ANY…chances are he needs a WHOLE lot more than most.  “Humph…men don’t care that much about these things” you may say.  Well ladies….I’d say that 40% of our SALON clientelle is MEN…so do the math.

First off let me say that I understand that everyone prefers different types.  I apologize for any disagreements that may occur after reading my thoughts…this is a blog (riveting I know) not an article from Cosmo written by a bona fide “style guru”…so do with my words what you will.

I think I will make good use of “bulletin points” now in order to put my college education into good use.  See Dad!…money was not wasted! 🙂

• Lesson 1:  Because it was “Gnarly”, “Rad”, “Hype”, “Sick”, “Fresh”, or “Groovy” back in the 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, hell early 2000’s…doesn’t mean it is a TIMELESS look.  Ok…HERE! is where some of my dearest friends are going to call me out!  And it is because they love me that I know they will pounce on this opportunity to do a little ball busting.  So go ahead…I’m waiting.  My husband, who I must say is now an “Adonis” (love you baby) had a VERY dirty little hair secret of his own when we met.  He was clinging to a little sliver of hope that his High School days could last forever.  And he didn’t let go easy…so I understand the challenge that may be ahead of us. BUT…in order to keep my lovely marriage in tact…I must digress.  GENTLEMEN!…a fresh shirt along with a classic cut can turn you from Dud to Stud in as little as 30 minutes.  How easy is that?  We are not even asking for six-pack abs…just join us here in 2013 (It will be fun…I promise)  Please refer to the very effective illustration below:

• Lesson 2:  Sasquatch is not usually sexy…just saying.  I think this is a case of what’s good for the goose is good for the gander (uh..I’m old).  For those who may need a more direct approach…If we have to shave our legs, pits, and tweeze (not to mention the stress that we are now expected to place on our nether regions)…is it too much to ask for a neat face to kiss?  Now hold on before you close me out…Beard=Good. Beard=Masculine.  Beard=Rugged.  Beard=Relaxed.   But acres of wiry, unkempt, long, somewhat smelly hairs all over the face aint good for NOBODY on the other end.  Let’s take a look at our friends from Duck Dynasty and ZZ Top.

 

But “Lisa! These men have beautiful wives and women who don’t seem to mind their facial hair.” you may say.  Yes they do.  They are rock stars.  They make BIG BUCKS to look that way.  Heck…I’m sure they smell delightful!  Just entertain me if you will.  Just playing Devil’s Advocate here.  Let’s compare it to this:

I really don’t need to say anymore.  And if by SOME chance you aren’t sure about this please ask the person to your left…and your right…they’d like to be included on this debate too. (I’m sure)

• Lesson 3:  The recent phenom (they are everywhere…t-shirts, cups, napkins, key chains).  THE MOUSTACHE!  This one is going to take some “self-study”.  Shapes and sizes,  placement and length, can create a menagerie of different looks.  And as we all know the wrong combo can be very disturbing.  However, I think some top lips need a little protective sweater and the right combo can be quite sexy.  Here are a few reference guides.  You be the judge.

Ha Ha.  New Kids on the Block!!!  (had to do it!)

       So, to wrap up my long-winded and possibly offensive (sorry guys) rant, I’d like to say this:

                                     Boys, we love you.  Chances are we already think nobody makes us feel the way you do.  We aren’t asking for David Beckham (umm…nevermind) and we know that you have busy lives and other responsibilities too.  We can promise you this…your efforts won’t go unnoticed.  So take off that worn-out shirt, get a nice haircut, take the weed whacker to that face, and go plant a manly kiss on your sweetie.  I bet they won’t have a “headache” tonight!

Until next time!!!  Love one another!  I’m Out!